Denmark

For Paul and Rickie’s seventies wedding I managed to find a smart black suit in a second hand shop on Hammersmith High Street. I was quite pleased with my buy, which is why I was a bit pissed off when it caught fire after I staggered onto one of those garden candles. You’ll find that if you wear a Polyester suit.

From what I saw Denmark is a really enjoyable place to live, with cleanliness and efficiency adding to a generally comfortable feel. The only let down, as with most Scandinavian countries, is the price of Liquor, with a pint costing as much as a fiver. I mean if you lived there, you’d just end up swigging that plain label vodka from Tescos at home, not good.

Danish highlight? Trains, without a doubt. Clean, punctual, spacious and above all cheap. We travelled for nearly two hours and it cost £3 each, yet a return from Liverpool Street to Stanstead is £24, what’s that all about? And I know what you’re about to say, but it’s more than just the 50% income tax. They seem to have a bit of pride in their country which I think is missing here, things seems to be a bit more social and a little less individually orientated. Maybe society isn’t such a bad thing after all.

The same goes for Copenhagen airport, really well designed and superbly built with a real eye for detail and style. The spacious parquet floored interior is straight out of Wallpaper magazine, and if you know what that is you’re a complete tosser. It stands in complete contrast to Stansted, which is essentially an open plan supermarket with a load of cheap office cubicles in the middle. With it’s dreadful ‘Theme’ pub and building site style layout it is basically, a load of shit.

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