London cyclists

What is it about London cyclists? In the space of about six months they’ve morphed from a few people commuting to work into a whole army of renegade road users battling for survival. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good for air quality and general congestion, but does it really have to be quite so aggressive?

I’m sure it used to be about people getting to work, now it seems to be about fat Steve from accounts indulging in some kind of alternative lifestyle for forty minutes a day. The wrap around shades, the shouting at pedestrians as the lights are jumped. Yes Steve, you’re one insane motherfucker, you don’t work in an office at all do you? No, you’re a professional base jumper/surfer/ hitman and member of 3 Para aren’t you? I’m surprised you’ve got time to be in London at all what with your commitments to the 2008 Extreme Sport Expo. You’ll be under a bus next week, then of course it’ll all be someone else’s fault.

Cyclists have very quickly become regarded as London’s worst road users. And that’s not worst as in ‘Down with the kids’ or ‘Bad ass’, but worst in terms of road using ability and basic two wheeled skill. The misguided faux aggression and lack of substance is London personified, in fact the London cyclist is everything you need to know about this city.

But despite identifying with some kind of new radical movement against boring people like me, the urban cyclist is just another thirty something fad for people that think Radiohead is alternative music.

So the next time you see the devil glaring at you from behind the insane sunglasses, smog mask and day glow Lycra, remember it’s just another office bod, like you and me.

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