A Man City fan?

I was accused of being a glory hunter at work today because I follow Manchester City. I use the word follow because I’m not a real fan, I don’t go to matches and I’m not from Manchester. The accusation did come from a Spurs supporter, so you have to understand that there’s going to be a little bit of sour grapes what with them being crap for the foreseable future.

I’ve been to see City play once, at the Emirates stadium, I sat behind a bunch of apathetic Russian women in complete silence, literally. The only noise to be heard that day was that from the few thousand City supporters at the other end, singing and taunting despite Arsenal running rings round them. I’ve even been to the City of Manchester stadium once, but by the state of me I could well have been watching Oasis from the Barside at Layer Road.

I Also like City because they’re not Man United. Alex Ferguson with his petulance, chewing gum and old man gait. It’s just Man Yoo isn’t it? The ever greasy Christiano Ronaldo, Old Trafford and Rio Ferdinand with his Simpsons style plasticine mouth. Mick Hucknall supports Man Yoo, he would do wouldn’t he? And who’d want to be associated with anything to do with that fucking twat? It’s no wonder that Liam Gallagher punched him in the face for being, “An insult to Manchunians”. Mick Hucknall. Why in the name of Jesus H. Corbett would you you support the same football team as Mick Hucknall?

United fans are finding it hard to disguise their jealousy, especially after being saddled with millions of pounds worth of debt by an American that openly admits that he doesn’t like them. Liverpool fans too are whining with envy, in their case the debt that they ended up with came from an American that didn’t even realise that there we’re two teams in Manchester, duh! Even Mandy knows that.

Anyway, you have to support a football team don’t you? So it may as well be a proper one, not one whose entire fan base has a Hackney carriage plate, a crash pad in Fulham or a bicycle rental business in Phukhet. And if you don’t support a football team then what’s the point of watching Match of the Day? Or Shite of the Day as Mandy calls it.

But after all that, I follow City because I felt sorry for them when they where shit. I liked Maine Road, Kevin Keegan, Stuart Pearce. I liked the way that the City fans respected the 50th anniversary of the Munich air disaster, and the way Mike Summerbee conducted himself in front of booing Man Yoo fans at Wembley. Talking of Mike Summerbee, he starred alongside Sylvester Stallone and Pelé in Escape to Victory with another City player, Kazimierz Deyna. Escape to Victory, no Manchester United players were involved with the film.

We, yes we, are loaded. Deal with it. Money doesn’t buy silverware? Oh yes it does.

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