Two Things. The first is the London Marathon. I’d only ever watched this on TV before and always considered it quite tedious, all those wacky costumes and over enthusiastic charity types seemed a little bit too much. We went to see some friends who live in Canary Wharf on Sunday...

I try to cross the road in an attempt to buy some foreign food for lunch but can’t use the pelican crossing because it’s blocked, by a nausea inducing mini coach. The driver stares gormlessly ahead as I watch the little green man appear through his windows, completely unaware...