Imagine this scene. Myself and Mandy, enjoying a nice Sunday afternoon pint outside a pub before moving on to a friends house for a BBQ. The sun is shining and we’re passing the time by talking about how much money we wouldn’t give our families if we came in on the Premium Bonds.
That was yesterday, at least it was until the Smug London Parents arrived and along with the worlds cleverest child and promptly ruined a decent afternoon.
The child prodigy, just about walking age, proceeded to push a wooden chair backwards and forwards on the concrete producing a perfectly pitched grating sound. The Smug London Parents looked around proudly before returning to their conversation about All Tomorrows Parties, which incidentally they were conducting at the top of their voices to be heard about little darling’s racket.
So now no one else outside the pub can speak because of the child genius and his grating sound interspersed with his parents shrieking bouts of side splitting banter.
It’s like people will do anything to demonstrate how liberal and cool they are, even if it means being incredibly anti social.
So I get the hump and we leave. Leave them to their vanilla perfumed tobacco, middle class chit chat about cool bands and their wonderful fucking brat.