Sheep man on the Underground

On the way home from work last night there was a Scandinavian couple at Victoria, I helped her up the stairs with the pushchair and an Underground bloke helped him with the luggage. Helping tourists at Victoria is something that I do on a daily basis and a pattern has emerged. The Japanese, always polite… Continue reading Sheep man on the Underground

Rabbit and Guinea Pig

So there I am, sat on the train on the way home from work reading and basically minding my own business. A bloke sits down opposite wearing a short sleeved shirt with epaulettes, like an off duty copper although he’s not because of the grey sports socks similar to mine. He’s playing with an international… Continue reading Rabbit and Guinea Pig

Push pigs at Ikea

I was utterly amazed on waking to the news this morning that people had spent hours queuing outside the new Ikea in Edmonton for the opening at midnight, not only that, but six of them where actually taken to hospital with heat exhaustion and crush injuries! Are people really willing to subject themselves to this… Continue reading Push pigs at Ikea

Stories about mobiles that make me laugh

My brother Chris Emailed this to me this morning: Stories about mobiles that make me laugh. Following a flight, everyone turns their phones back on whilst on the shuttle bus to the terminal. Then we have a chorus of text messages arriving “beep-beep!””be””beep-beep!””beep-beep!”. Then watch the look on someone’s face. “I’m abroad, in a foreign… Continue reading Stories about mobiles that make me laugh

NASA. Nice And Safe Attitude

Taking a break from hot knives, Dean, the permanently stoned raver cum marketing assistant must have had the office in bits when announcing, “Nice And Safe Attitude”. Somehow, and to this day nobody really knows how, the ponytailed dopehead at the Dreamscape office in Peterborough managed to secure some funding for a ‘Rave couture’ garment… Continue reading NASA. Nice And Safe Attitude

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Gary’s bullshit #2: The sword and the walking stick

“Alan. Look, you see that bloke over there?” “Which one?” “Skinhead, full length leather jacket, glasses, walking stick, and a heavy limp.” “Oh right, what about him?” “Well, you see his walking stick? It’s actually a sword.” “Fuck off Dicker! You’re so full of shi…” “…No listen, he’s had that limp all his life, you… Continue reading Gary’s bullshit #2: The sword and the walking stick

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Bullshit: An introduction

Bullshitting is different from lying. Lying is a selfish act usually associated with petty criminals or constructs of institutionalised power – Governments, royalty, greedy businessmen and such like. Bullshitting is different because the perpetrator is not trying to influence you or your actions for any other reason than personal amusement. Basically it’s funny getting people… Continue reading Bullshit: An introduction

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