The whole Keep Calm and Carry On thing has officially run its course, it’s no longer the ‘In thing’ and is about as relevant as bootcut jeans or Snow Patrol. What was once the darling of the broadsheet gorping middle class can now be found as a staple in any shop...

There’s a part in a film from the last ten years when an alien posing as a human gives his reasons for hating the human race, along with destroying our own environment it’s also because we smell. I can’t recall the name of the film, it could have been Men in Black...

1. Receipts Don’t bother putting these in your wallet, they will add unnecessary clutter and make you look like a self employed builder, nobody wants that. You’ll end up taking your wad of receipts home and dumping them on the side in that pile of clutter that gets...

Dad was a camp site Nazi. It’s not something I hold against him, it’s a state of mind he developed to deal with children, adults and animals on camping grounds. I can’t remember when he became a Campsite Nazi, but it must have been around the time of the Welsh...

royal_baby

The honest cabbie fruit and veg bricklayer For some reason this person actually believes that the Royal family are looking out for them and their families in some form of all seeing religious benevolence. They live their lives in a Dads Army style fantasy where the Queen Mother...

The car that we booked through rentalcars.com simply didn’t materialise at the airport in Kefalonia on 6th July 2013. We waited and waited but nobody appeared to “Meet and greet” us as promised. Just what you fucking well need isn’t it? Getting up at 4am...

The hell of the high street. The high Street is an awful place, dirty and depressing, the standard council herringbone brickwork stained with spat out chewing gum, dog shit and human blood. I used to lay herringbone brickwork whilst the Fatty would sit watching in his BMW smoking...

This is the time of year that we are supposed to be reflecting what the generations that went before us gave in our time of need. Maybe thinking about the ramifications and horrors of war, conflict and strife. Not necessarily strutting the poppy whilst looking miserable or giving...

I’ve often thought of the Royal Family in this country as a West End show. The West End show. Overly colourful adverts at every bus stop and full page ads in the tabloid of choice, all topped off with five star recommendations from the idiot Saturday night cockney. Every...

It’s only been a few days since the it was announced that NOW was finishing with its last edition today, it all coming  amid the phone hacking scandal that is currently gripping the nation. My Tweet Deck has been working overtime trying to cope with the amount of  tweeters and...