Express delivery

Have you noticed how adverts have those identifying tags bolted on the end? Just in case you don’t know what brand is lobbying for your trade, you get some highly annoying little phrase or ring tone to hear people repeat to themselves subconsciously. The worst offender is vulgar The Daily Express and it’s little cartoon American paper boy. “Express delivery!” At what point did some bright spark in marketing create this monster of a little brat, with his wonky cap, BMX with safety pads and wholesome Junior High accent.

I get the feeling that this is part of the racially pure, and thus obviously crime free, lifestyle that the Daily Express is attempting to flog its readers – Summer evenings in Milwaukee with fire flies around the barbeque, t-shirts around the knees and Sunday baseball. It’s the Disney life you could lead in Chigwell with the help of their own hideous brand of racial hatred and the moral guidance of the Royal family.

Do the people responsible for this excuse for a newspaper really believe their own hysteria? Or is it just to sell copy? Either way it’s minging. Simply, where are the stray Exocets when you need them?

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