Bullshit: An introduction

Bullshitting is different from lying. Lying is a selfish act usually associated with petty criminals or constructs of institutionalised power – Governments, royalty, greedy businessmen and such like.

Bullshitting is different because the perpetrator is not trying to influence you or your actions for any other reason than personal amusement. Basically it’s funny getting people to believe bullshit, it’s funny trying to keep a straight face when you can physically see someone’s brain ticking over and you’re on the verge of pulling it off.

There’s no harm in bullshitting, it doesn’t undermine democracy (House of Windsor) or inflict misery (House of Thatcher), and most of all it’s fun because it’s what people do to you if they like you.

Not everyone makes a good bullshitter, you don’t have to be particularly intelligent in the academic manner but it does take a certain amount of people knowledge – The understanding of mannerisms, small facial moves and nods that have all been borrowed from those that speak the truth.

Over the next few weeks I will be serialising a selection of bullshits that have come from someone who in my opinion is the world master of bulljidd – My friend from The Ramsey Comprehensive School, Gary Dicker.

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