Kylie, Showgirl, The greatest hits tour, Earls court

Kylie is the closest thing we have to a Royal family that represents us as a body people in any way, and if we could ever choose our head of state surely the princess of pop would be at the top of the list. She is how I’d like the rest of the world to see us – Intelligent, funny, generous and sexy, instead of what we have at the moment which is none of those things. The way that she conducts herself both professionally, and in public has endeared her to the Great British people in a manner that the likes of Posh Spice, Prince Charles or Madonna can only dream. In fact, if we ever make contact with extra terrestrial beings in outer space it should be the pint sized package of greatness who, along with Liam Gallagher, is sent to greet them.

Her innate sense of judgment has managed to spare her the grotesque ravages that fame and money brings to people in her position. It’s allowed her to convincingly adorn the cover of Cosmopolitan, Business Life and the NME in the same year. Combine that with the way that she smiles and pouts to the camera, we have a general idea of how her own personal brand of charm has helped shape our lives. For life without Kylie Minouge would be like living without denim, orange squash or Bungle and Zippy. She’s always been there, like a reliable member of the family you grow up with – Mild tempered, funny, consistent.

Arriving on stage to ‘Better the devil you know’, the performance is breathtakingly flawless. Her miniature dance moves are as effortlessly cool and perfect as the Moulin Rouge feathers that adorn her costume. At some points she almost abandons the dance routine and breaks into her own front room dancing, the sort when happiness takes over and simply swaying from side to side seems enough. Her head moves in the same manner with genuine enjoyment, smiling at the simple contented beauty of the occasion – the ultimate saccharine pop experience.

It occurs to me that I’ve never seen anything like this before, anything this slick, shiny and fun. Although you get the feeling that she genuinely believes that all this is far more than a bit of fun or just some nice songs, and quite rightly so. Because what we’re experiencing is a pivotal moment where the thinly spread layer of Kylie is gathered up and presented as a defined moment. A point that somehow seems to make sense, where the history fits together with the present to form a perfectly balanced story.

She sits high above the audience on a sequined moon like the fairy godmother that you always dreamed of, singing ‘Over the rainbow’ with remarkable clarity and a consummate ease. She cleverly slips eight bars of ‘Where the Wild Roses Grow’ expertly into Hot red blooded women, and manages to look cool by doing a slowed down swing version of the ‘Locomotion’. Camp and unashamedly glamorous, a welcome break from the dreary tedium of XFM, the election and filthy London pubs.

It’s all over with ‘Especially for you’ whilst collecting flowers from an adoring audience, a solitary figure bathing in an atmosphere of warmth and affection, unable to hide her own overwhelming happiness. When we’re older we’ll show this to younger generations with the pride it deserves, hopefully they’ll see some Kylie in us and realise how much happiness she brought to our lives.

Kylie 4 Everyone. I.D.S.T.

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